Come on- we ALL have them. We just try our best to cover it with the good. I’ve come to the conclusion that my darkness is taking me to my destiny. Let’s see- where do I begin?🤔.
Maybe I can start with my birth. My conception was regretful. I think I felt safer inside the womb than out. I entered this world afraid and lost. I never experienced a sense of belonging growing up. It didn’t help when others insisted I did not belong. I did the unimaginable to feel “accepted”.
I was repeatedly faced with sexual abuse- by multiple people. I was somewhat happy about the abuse because I received the attention I had always yearned for. I’d rather have the attention than no attention at all. I eventually became promiscuous and initiated sexual relations due to the increased desires for attention. I placed myself in dangerous situations without thinking twice. This went on for years…decades…
It wasn’t until I went deep within as I tried to wrap my mind around this concept of “healing”. I’ve learned it wasn’t my fault- despite what I was told. I understood I unfortunately wasn’t alone in these experiences. I was able to see the value of my existence.
This may sound crazy, but I am grateful for those scary experiences. 1) I have a testimony to share with others in my shoes 2) I learned “reasons & seasons” 3) I have connected the dots on my life over the years (I have a better understanding of how I acted out in certain situations).
I signed up for this life of mine. I agreed to ALL terms and conditions. The good.. bad.. and ugly. I embrace it all. I understand the bad and ugly can often shape a person. However, it does not have to define YOU! Allow the past to teach you and give you the opportunity to be better- to help others get better❤️