I was severely abused as a child… sexually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Crazy part- most would have never thought it… Guess why? I always looked so “put together”. Nice clothes that always matched. A smile that only an actor could perfect…
Below the surface… was a terrified little girl who’d rather die- than to live the life she was given. That little girl grew older with time. Unfortunately, age is only a number and that little girl still lives within this woman’s body and world. She’s still afraid because she doesn’t truly understand what “safe” feels like.
The beauty in it all- she’s working through it as she faces the reality of her past… She understands healing the wounds are the key to moving forward. Healing the wounds will free her lineage from the suffering of the “if I knew better I’d do better” mentality. Healing the wounds empowers her descendants to value themselves and keep their power- instead of giving it away like so many of us have.
There’s no formula or manual to this thing called healing. We pretty much just have to experience life through trial and error. Some things will work- while others won’t. We are ahead of the ball game if we can look at our experiences as opportunities to learn.
We can also have compassion for those that have trespassed against us. This doesn’t mean they “get a pass” or we agree with their actions. However, we never know if/how our perpetrators were victims too… A lot of abuse is simply learned behavior. It doesn’t make it right, but at least gives us the opportunity to look at things from a different perspective.
I am currently working through understanding the trauma. I’ve mastered blocking the trauma so well- that I really don’t remember… Or maybe I just don’t want to… My body tensed up after I typed that sentence. The reality is… Things happened… it all has an impact on who I am today.
I am committed to healing and living an abundant life. Therefore, I need to make adjustments accordingly. No longer am I that terrified little girl. Now… I am an empowered woman…who will protect that little girl… who will keep her safe… who will share my story… to help others… so they won’t feel alone… so we can all take back