Life has been “different” lately. Approximately two months ago I experienced a COMPLETE emotional breakdown🤯. I had to retreat from everything I loved (and thought) I loved. I even had to take a two week leave of absence from work🚶♀️. The whirlwind of emotions hit me HARD and UNEXPECTEDLY🌪. I felt like a COMPLETE wreck.
I can’t lie- I wanted to throw in the towel for so many reasons. I wasn’t suicidal; it was more like I was tired of being EVERYTHING- to EVERYONE, but myself. I was tired of placing myself last on the list for EVERYTHING! I believe I learned this at a young age. “Cater to everything for everyone”. “Earn your keep- even if it costs you your own peace”😏. I was taught that was the way of life. I wasn’t living a “fulfilling” life if I didn’t do all of the above🥺.
I’ve learned my breakdown was in fact a BREAKTHROUGH💖! My soul was breaking through while screaming… “Here I am… Please listen to me…Please get to know me… Please allow me to help you”. I didn’t quite understand it at the time. I just took it as I was crazy- because that’s what people will quickly tell you. It was at that point when I realized it WASN’T about people… it was about ME 😍.
I began to care less about what people thought of me. This was challenging as I had been a “people pleaser” my entire life. I started to think “What do I like”… more and more… “How does this make me feel”… more and more… I even found myself saying a few times… “screw who doesn’t like it 😂😩😎”. I was learning how to FEEL and SPEAK my truth. My truth was foreign to me for 35 LONG years.
I am finally learning to value me. It’s funny because I’ve always “underestimated” myself and my abilities. People would express that I am great at this or that, but I always took it as nothing special- I’m just like everyone else. I AM equal to everyone else; however, I have MANY MANY gifts and I am finally learning to embrace them.
I thought I was “weird” because I was “different”. That’s not true…My “different” are blessings and gifts in which I am truly grateful for. I have been receiving A LOT of recognition lately for these various gifts. I finally believe, feel, and know what I am truly capable of. I am aware of my positive impact on others. No longer do I “downplay” it. I welcome and embrace it all as I express gratitude 🤗.
All of this is to say- I’ve been through the storm OVER and OVER again. I’ve been overlooked and last OVER and OVER again… I’ve been used and abused (by self and others) OVER and OVER again. Those things NEVER defined me!!! They only built up my character for the consecutive wins on the ships that are arriving 🛳 (as I type). My future is extremely bright✨ You will read (and hear) all about it in due time.
Just remember- we will ALL reap the rewards of our blood, sweat, and tears… As long as our intentions are good and pure 💖. Just be patient and remember… We have worked way too hard just to be mediocre. Everything is working itself out behind the scenes. Things will be revealed in divine timing✨
Start to take a limitless approach in life. It’s too often we place ourselves in boxes, which keep us stagnant. We do this out of comfort and fear. However, we must understand there is an ENTIRE world out there for us to see… experience… and FEEL!
Lately, I’ve found myself seeking opportunities outside of my comfort zone. Opportunities that I would have NEVER thought I would pursue. Opportunities that are aligned with my passion and soul’s desires… Opportunities outside of the mental prison I’ve placed upon myself… Opportunities that are literally DREAMS COME TRUE.
I’ve been able to reach this level of confidence through battling so many trials… Storm after storm… Loss after loss… Pain after pain… Little did I know… these experiences all taught me valuable lessons… They taught me…I am stronger than I give myself credit for… I am resilient regardless of what comes my way… I ALWAYS accomplish what I put my mind to… I’ve managed to keep a gentle heart through ALL adversity. Most importantly, these experiences taught me exactly what I need in order to make my dreams come true!
Take a chance… Be bold… Create the life you desire… What’s the worst that can happen… You try for something outside of your comfort zone 🙂
I’ve never been the popular one… Nor have I ever made friends easily… I just do what I have to do… The best way I know how… I just happen to inspire others along the way… No matter how big or small… I often make an impact one way or another… For that I am truly grateful✨