Lately
I’ve been getting into me
Tapping into my creativity
Seeing more of me
Seeing what I couldn’t see
Life isn’t as easy as it seems
Sometimes it all feels like a dream
Some days I just want to scream
I know I can’t lose steam
Somehow my light still beams
I owe it all to my spirit TEAM
I cried today… in fact… The tears poured out of my eyes from NOWHERE! I’ve been holding a lot in these days. I have not felt up to much as I am internalizing a lot. I’ve been trying to manage the best way that I know how, but apparently… I needed a release- hence a HEALTHY cry.
This cry was healthy because I gave myself permission to… feel… process… understand…re-visit various circumstances that have taken place in my life. I normally handle things from a logical perspective. This happened because of XYZ and the actions led to the outcome. However, it was different this time. I felt sadness and loss as many cycles are ending in my life. I gave myself permission to mourn these people, places, and things… even if it was for a brief period of time. The key is I did not judge myself for… being vulnerable… feeling sad… reminiscing… and all of the other million things that have been running through my mind.
I know every ending starts with a new beginning. I am grateful for all of the wonderful things that lie ahead of me. Some are things that I could only dream of- becoming a reality. In this moment- I choose to honor my feelings for what… is leaving… has been and was. I express gratitude for the beautiful memories and rewarding experiences. I am even grateful for the painful & hard lessons, which have ultimately made me stronger in the end.
I cries today… and in that moment… I knew things would be okay.
North Node in 11
Pentacles from heaven
Bound to see blessings
From all my hard lessons
It’s hard confessing
When my work was “less than”
No more second guessing
No more mixed messaging
Sag in 5
I pay attention to the signs
Try not to go blind
By my sun in 9
Let it shine
Through your mind
I’m gonna take you high
Fly into the sky
Asking questions like…
“Why”?
Did I see limits
And feed into the gimmicks
Let’s do this
Like the late Jimi Hendrix
Stelium in 4
Scorpio galore
Beat to the floor
But my rise will soar
With that Leo rising roar
Think you’re in a Verizon store
You can’t ask for more
With my Jup in 6
Brining service to the mix
“Never knew a luh…
“A love like this”
Let me tell you
About my new found hobby
Astrology
Not where I’ve been
But where I gotta be
The devil came in
And tried to blind me
Deny me
From seeing what’s inside of me
The divine in me
That light that shines in me
I gotta leave the past behind me
No more doing time for crimes
That’s not me
I am making a conscious effort to set annual goals. The intent is to look back (the following year) and say to myself… WOW… I really overcame that… While I was “in it” (the moment)… I never imagined making it out. The intent is to grow stronger with each challenge… The intent is to look at life from a different perspective- each time… The intent… is to inspire & empower others to stand in their power… As I am learning to stand in mine✨
All of this to say- I overcame A LOT of obstacles last year (around this time). I knew I would be defeated… BUT… through my spirit team, faith, patience, perseverance, dedication, and much more… I overcame those battles which were set to “take me out”.
I stand here today… with a new set of challenges… in which it is difficult to see the light. I will say… I am looking forward to my yearly overview (next year)… Because my spirit team, faith, patience, perseverance, dedication, and much more hasn’t let me down yet💖
To be continued…
I am experiencing a major transformative phase in my life right now. I’m not going to lie… It hurts… really bad… to the core… Its uncomfortable as hell… Often times- I don’t know which way to go… Or even how to proceed. There have been a lot of “down” days lately. I will say… having alone time allows one to be an observer… just “chillin’ in the cut”.
I am grateful for this timed opportunity because I am able to look at things from a different perspective. A clear perspective… not a biased perspective… or what I fantasize it to be. A light bulb clicked today as my mind raced with so many unasked and unanswered questions.
I gave myself a “death sentence”. You may think… “wow… that sounds a bit extreme”. The reality… IT IS. Let me break it down… I never forgave myself for many of the mistakes I’ve made in life. It’s like I hold a gun to my head and heart. I overcompensate based on the guilt I feel within. My expectations are too high for myself. I am human… I’m going to make mistakes… I am not perfect.
More times than not… I like to hold myself accountable for my actions. I also like to identify solutions to prevent situations from occurring again. However, it doesn’t just stop there… I hold the mistake over my head… and allow others to do the same… I acknowledge… This is not right… nor fair. It ends here…
I am human.. I will make mistakes… It is a part of life. I can’t give others a “pass” while refusing to give myself one. My mistakes are opportunities to learn something new- that simple. No longer will I beat myself over the head for “not knowing better”. I forgive ME… I will show compassion to and for myself.
I just connected the dots that this is a childhood wound. It is now ready to be healed ✨. When I was a child- I was verbally, mentally, emotionally, and even physically abused for making mistakes. My child self felt SO LOW… I literally just felt the heaviness as I typed that… I allowed others to add to that low feeling… I accepted the abuse… It was a natural response to be abused as a result of making a mistake.
To make matters worse… I did everything in my power to be seen (and treated) in “good grace”. Rarely was that the outcome… rather… Others took advantage of my low esteem and used it for their benefit. This is toxic behavior that I have carried into adulthood… Over and over again… I acknowledge this behavior does not serve me.
I RELEASE IT!!! I forgive myself for… being human… making mistakes… learning new things… not having it all figured out… I FORGIVE ME… I treat myself with love and compassion. I attract those who treat me with forgiveness, love, and compassion.
Thanks for reading✨
There are some moments in life when things seem to happen “out of the blue”. It can hit us when we least expect it. We often are unable to put in to words HOW and WHAT “just happened”. Words of wisdom that I’m learning now ~ DO NOT FIGHT IT.
More often than not… That is the way things should be. No matter how much we “cry, kick, or scream”… DO NOT FIGHT IT. The “Divine” is at work- IN and FOR our lives… For our highest and greatest good. Spirit knows us better than we know ourselves. Spirit knows when we hold on for the sole reason of COMFORT. However, comfort is NOT where we grow.
Our soul evolves when we accept… What was… What is…And maybe even what “could be”. Our soul evolves when we embrace change over comfort. Our soul evolves when we begin to accept reality- opposed to fantasy and imagination.
The goal should always be evolution on this spiritual journey we call “life”. We make things much easier on ourselves when we “go with the flow” of spirit… Not the limited perception of our ego. I repeat…
#DoNotFightIt
Oh my… How the mind
Gets stuck in the clouds
It’s been running for miles
But you refuse
To make it loud
Afraid of the crowd
You prefer to make them smile
Your soul is asking- “HOW”?
Think back to when you were a child
You were running
Free & wild
A true free style
And spirit too
Where did you lose it
Who used it
Who abused it
Not just them
You did it too
The many lessons you learned
All the bridges y’all burned
Put it all in the urn
Time for a re-birth
For you to know your true worth
You’re a blessing and a curse
A force to be a reckoned with- Sir
It’s your destiny
To manifest your dreams
One by one
Burst the seams
Pay homage to your spirit team
They’re the true MVPs
Working behind the scenes
Making your solar beam
It’s not always what it seems
But it’s always what it’s meant to be
Just follow their lead
They know what you need
And what you don’t
What you will
And what you won’t
Just have faith and trust
Forward motion is a must
Wishing you well
Remember… Your words are spells
Make sure you get
The whistles and bells
I’ve been on a mini hiatus for some time for a combination of things. Some of the days- I felt a bit blue. Other days- my “creative juices” weren’t flowing much. A few days- I honestly just wasn’t inspired to write about much. As the old saying goes… if you don’t have anything nice to say- don’t say anything at all.
I am also more mindful that I’m an impactful individual. Therefore, I try to refrain from acting from a place of “uncertainty”… at least in this instance. Nevertheless, I am here and all is well 😀. I take the good with the “bad” and vice versa. All of the experiences are well needed (and greatly appreciated) for my evolution 💖
