Here’s a podcast my wife and I uploaded over the summer. Hope it inspires you 🙂
Just a quick post-
I’ve found myself saying “I don’t know” a lot lately. I’m at the point where I even give a slight smirk as I say it. I guess that means I am getting more and more comfortable with saying it- Lol. I struggle daily with “allow things to work out as it needs to” and “FIGURE IT OUT NOOWWWW”!!!! Lololol- NO LIES. Somehow, the thought of “I’m still here” keeps me going. Somehow… the thought of looking back at the “inner work” I’ve been doing lately… was NOT in vain. Sidenote- it’s funny that I am listening to a song right now with the lyrics- “I release control… And surrender to the flow… Of love… That will heal me” by Alexa Sunshine Rose. Funny how the universe works. I guess that means… Stop stressing and CONTINUE to allow the universe to work FOR me.
To be continued…
The “in between” can be so tricky
It’s that space where
You are not where you were
But also not where you’re going
You look back
And see how far you’ve come
You see all that you’ve changed
All that you’ve released
All that you’ve gained
All that you’ve embraced
All that you’ve created
When you never imagined
You’d accomplish so much
So why the sense of “failure”
I guess it’s all a part of life
Maybe because I know
There’s so much more potential inside of me
Potential to be greater
To be smarter
To be kinder
To be happy
To be true to me
To be proud
To be purposeful
To be all that my heart and soul desires
The “in between” can be so tricky
I am taking another leap… A GIGANTIC leap… A leap into the “unknown”. If you know me- you know I like to have control. A plan of x, y, and z. Nope, not this time. This time- I am choosing a different route. To say this is scary- is quite frankly an understatement. I can’t help but ask myself- is this the path I am going to take? Am I really sure? What if things don’t pan out…
Then I remind myself… I can’t afford to stay the same…I can no longer choose comfort over growth… My heart and soul is longing for more. That longing of “quality” over “quantity”. The “quantity” has served it’s purpose. One day- I may even go back to it. But RIGHT NOW- I NEED to do this… I DESERVE to do this… I worked so HARD for this… Day in and day out… Lesson after lesson… Destruction after destruction… There were many days I knew I wouldn’t make it… just one more day… However, there is a GREATER calling on my life. My destiny is BEYOND my wildest dreams. It’s funny because I can see it all so VIVIDLY in the distant, but near future. I’ve literally dreamt this in so many shapes and forms… Yet, I still don’t know how everything is going to work itself out…
There’s something about that powerful feeling within… it tells me EVERYTHING will be fine… We are working on your behalf… You have EARNED this!!! Not only are you doing this for yourself, but more importantly- you are doing it for others… to make this world a better place… you are also doing it for US… WE GOT YOU… Don’t worry about a single thing!!! And THAT… is EXACTLY what keeps me going… it keeps me smiling… despite not knowing the “how”, “where”, and “when”.
I smile as I type this… I’ve grown in sooo many ways. The old me would be freaking out right now- because I really just don’t even know… LOLOLOL. I’m coming to realize– THAT’S OKAY 🙂
I hope I got your attention with that three letter word 😉 Why do we stray away from sexual abuse? Why do we (as a culture) think it’s okay to be sexually violated? Why do we think- “that’s just what happens”? Why do we “look the other way” when someone’s innocence was viciously stolen from them? Why do we think it’s “macho” for a person to steal one’s power? I ask myself these questions every time I see this topic trend- in politics, news, and the media.
I am a SURVIVOR of sexual abuse. It started when I was just a little girl. I agreed because I thought that’s what “love” was… I thought that’s what it meant when someone “liked” you… I thought- if people are aware and don’t step in- everything must be “fine”. I grew up with that same mentality- exposing my mind, body, and spirit time after time. I reached the point that I “knew” I was accepted because I gave my power away. I always wondered- why didn’t anyone SAVE me… Many people knew what was going on; however, we get so caught up in a “reputation”… Things like this are ALWAYS swept under the rug. Under the rug for the next generation to… experience the same violations… enable the behaviors… “breed” violators. The harsh reality in which I hope we can change.
Speak up… Tell someone… Say NO… Take your POWER back… Pray…Pray… and Pray some more… Do WHATEVER you have to do… to EMPOWER yourself and others… To break the CURSE. Have the uncomfortable conversations with children. Unfortunately, this behavior is experienced early on in our lives. Teach your children to express their feelings… Teach them to speak up… Teach them to observe their environments… People, places, and things… Teach them “acceptable” and “unacceptable” behavior. Check in with your loved ones from time to time. Lend an ear or shoulder. A donation of your time can literally prevent a lifetime of trauma… that’s often passed down from one generation to the next 😦
Let’s do our part to destigmatize sexual abuse!