Hello guys,
It’s been a while since I’ve come to this “safe” space. Just wanted to update you all on my latest venture. I’ve started a YouTube channel which captures much of my healing journey and my newest adventure. Please check it out and be sure to like, share, and subscribe. Thank you in advance 🙏🏼
Here’s the link:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5bIDdZ_BGTqJPY8_03wLTw
I took my feelings out the bottle
Heart beating… Full throttle
Now it’s in my face and
I know it’s no escaping
No drugs or lust
To be chasing
This is me
And that’s my statement
Getting grounded like the pavement
Hear all the sounds from my basement
Anger, fear, guilt, and shame
Toxicity embedded in the membranes
Flipped the switch in my brain
That triggers the pain
Pouring love and flushing it into the veins
Only thing left to do is change
Cause things can’t just stay the same
The work is hard, but also WORTH it. Don’t give up… You’ve come too far ✨
Let me tell you
About my new found hobby
Astrology
Not where I’ve been
But where I gotta be
The devil came in
And tried to blind me
Deny me
From seeing what’s inside of me
The divine in me
That light that shines in me
I gotta leave the past behind me
No more doing time for crimes
That’s not me
I am making a conscious effort to set annual goals. The intent is to look back (the following year) and say to myself… WOW… I really overcame that… While I was “in it” (the moment)… I never imagined making it out. The intent is to grow stronger with each challenge… The intent is to look at life from a different perspective- each time… The intent… is to inspire & empower others to stand in their power… As I am learning to stand in mine✨
All of this to say- I overcame A LOT of obstacles last year (around this time). I knew I would be defeated… BUT… through my spirit team, faith, patience, perseverance, dedication, and much more… I overcame those battles which were set to “take me out”.
I stand here today… with a new set of challenges… in which it is difficult to see the light. I will say… I am looking forward to my yearly overview (next year)… Because my spirit team, faith, patience, perseverance, dedication, and much more hasn’t let me down yet💖
To be continued…
I am experiencing a major transformative phase in my life right now. I’m not going to lie… It hurts… really bad… to the core… Its uncomfortable as hell… Often times- I don’t know which way to go… Or even how to proceed. There have been a lot of “down” days lately. I will say… having alone time allows one to be an observer… just “chillin’ in the cut”.
I am grateful for this timed opportunity because I am able to look at things from a different perspective. A clear perspective… not a biased perspective… or what I fantasize it to be. A light bulb clicked today as my mind raced with so many unasked and unanswered questions.
I gave myself a “death sentence”. You may think… “wow… that sounds a bit extreme”. The reality… IT IS. Let me break it down… I never forgave myself for many of the mistakes I’ve made in life. It’s like I hold a gun to my head and heart. I overcompensate based on the guilt I feel within. My expectations are too high for myself. I am human… I’m going to make mistakes… I am not perfect.
More times than not… I like to hold myself accountable for my actions. I also like to identify solutions to prevent situations from occurring again. However, it doesn’t just stop there… I hold the mistake over my head… and allow others to do the same… I acknowledge… This is not right… nor fair. It ends here…
I am human.. I will make mistakes… It is a part of life. I can’t give others a “pass” while refusing to give myself one. My mistakes are opportunities to learn something new- that simple. No longer will I beat myself over the head for “not knowing better”. I forgive ME… I will show compassion to and for myself.
I just connected the dots that this is a childhood wound. It is now ready to be healed ✨. When I was a child- I was verbally, mentally, emotionally, and even physically abused for making mistakes. My child self felt SO LOW… I literally just felt the heaviness as I typed that… I allowed others to add to that low feeling… I accepted the abuse… It was a natural response to be abused as a result of making a mistake.
To make matters worse… I did everything in my power to be seen (and treated) in “good grace”. Rarely was that the outcome… rather… Others took advantage of my low esteem and used it for their benefit. This is toxic behavior that I have carried into adulthood… Over and over again… I acknowledge this behavior does not serve me.
I RELEASE IT!!! I forgive myself for… being human… making mistakes… learning new things… not having it all figured out… I FORGIVE ME… I treat myself with love and compassion. I attract those who treat me with forgiveness, love, and compassion.
Thanks for reading✨
There are some moments in life when things seem to happen “out of the blue”. It can hit us when we least expect it. We often are unable to put in to words HOW and WHAT “just happened”. Words of wisdom that I’m learning now ~ DO NOT FIGHT IT.
More often than not… That is the way things should be. No matter how much we “cry, kick, or scream”… DO NOT FIGHT IT. The “Divine” is at work- IN and FOR our lives… For our highest and greatest good. Spirit knows us better than we know ourselves. Spirit knows when we hold on for the sole reason of COMFORT. However, comfort is NOT where we grow.
Our soul evolves when we accept… What was… What is…And maybe even what “could be”. Our soul evolves when we embrace change over comfort. Our soul evolves when we begin to accept reality- opposed to fantasy and imagination.
The goal should always be evolution on this spiritual journey we call “life”. We make things much easier on ourselves when we “go with the flow” of spirit… Not the limited perception of our ego. I repeat…
#DoNotFightIt
These past few weeks have been super busy. The weather hasn’t been the best. Consequently, I have not gone into nature lately. I’ve been constantly on the go- physically (and even mentally). I went out to run an errand this afternoon. I was greeted by mother earth as soon as I opened the door. The sun was shining- oh so brightly. There was a nice breeze that brushed against my skin. I smiled as I saw the birds fly and chirp. At that moment- i KNEW I had to do one of my favorite “past times”- go to the park.
I drove to my local park- one of my faves. I enjoy feeding the ducks. The eat the food from my hands. Some of those ducks can be bullies and such, but we all made it work :). Something a bit different took place today. There was a blue heron. We normally see a heron or crane, but they never come near us. Today was different…. It was spectacular and scary at the same time- Lol.
As I was feeding the ducks- the blue heron flew across the lake RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!! I can not make this stuff up- lol. He (or she) was literally RIGHT NEXT TO ME… I was scared. I’ve never been that close to a heron. He didn’t do much… just stared… and stared a bit longer. Lol. He didn’t try to attack me. He didn’t try to eat the duck food. He just watched me… watch him. lol. I was in complete awe in this moment 🙂 Still terrified, but amazed… that he came from the other side… and could have chosen ANYWHERE to fly… but he CHOSE to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME… LOL.
If you know me… you know I look for the deeper meaning in things. Guess what I did?!? Yup- I looked up the spiritual meaning for the blue heron. Here’s an excerpt I found while conducting my research:
This PERFECTLY explains the journey that I am embarking on in the very near future. I wasn’t always like this- in fact… things recently started to change. For the longest- I tried to “fit in” with others… I “followed the crowd”. I played it safe… No longer can I “play it safe” I began to think. This isn’t who I truly am… My soul yearns for so much more… My soul yearns to be different… To experience DIFFERENT… No longer do I over-consume myself with the thoughts of others. Now- I “do my thing” and “keep it moving” 😀 The beauty in it all…. is I am OKAY with that☺️ Taking all of that into consideration- my spirit team placed that blue heron next to me… to congratulate me… For stepping into my purpose… Regardless of what that may look like to others. The article further went on to explain:
When I say I hopped on an opportunity of the UNKNOWN- You probably wouldn’t even believe the whole story- Lol. I had NO IDEA how things would work out- I still kind of don’t. But… I have faith… and I also have a KNOWING… it is all for my greater good. I will be challenged at times, but I will also gain so much strength in the process. I will experience joy like I’ve NEVER experienced before! I will have stories to share with others… as I hope it encourages them to never stop dreaming… To chase their dreams… To create their own reality- even if they don’t know where to begin. If I did it- so can YOU 😎
I was also greeted by other animals such as a few turtles, ducks, and bees. The animals and the gift of mother nature- provided me with a well needed recharge. Although brief- it was truly appreciated… especially in these busy times.
Thanks for reading!
It’s been a while since I’ve come to this place. A lot has transpired in these past few weeks & days. Mainly amazing things- in which I will not “announce” yet. I am a firm believer of waiting to release things that are “in the making”.
It’s an energy thing to me… I feel it can tamper with my manifestations… people will know when I’m ready to share- lol 😎. But anyway… I was chatting with my life partner earlier and said I was going to write myself a letter here…
I’ve heard (and believe) we are so much more compassionate towards everyone else than ourselves. I am truly my WORST critic 😩. I’m working on it though… So I thought I’d come to this safe place- to show myself some compassion ✨ Here we go…
My friend,
You are wayyy too hard on yourself. You have to be more gentle… understanding… patient… proud… loving… did I say proud- 😂😂😂. Look at where you started. Many people would never imagine some of the things you’ve experienced over the course of your life (thus far).
Think of all the situations where you felt like it was the end… you felt you couldn’t move any further… What about the times when you were hurt to the core- and still showed love and smiled? What about the times you treated others less than kind knowing they didn’t deserve it? You’ve overcome it all and/or learned MANY valuable lessons… Some were very hard, but well needed… such is karma.
You’ve grown to have a greater appreciation for yourself as you are better at establishing healthy boundaries… still work to do, but LOTS of progress. You’ve gained an awareness regarding the impact of your words and actions on others. You are learning to be more mindful as you communicate with others. Still work, but great progress✨.
Your value system is changing… and based on YOU! Not the outdated values that were passed down to you. This is MAJOR in itself… Not everyone can do this, but YOU DID!
You have EVERY reason to be proud of yourself… Every reason to stop fearing success… Every reason to stop thinking you will fail. Opportunities are here… and YOURS for the taking… you’ve worked VERY hard and are MORE than deserving for what’s here.
Have faith in knowing it’s here to stay. Stand tall and be proud… Embrace a life of abundance. Abundant with whatever you desire- as long as your intentions are pure and the goal is evolving ✨ Pat yourself and be proud…
Job well done my friend 😎
~With Love & Compassion
Your Higher Self❤️✨
That space in between
No longer is it what it seems
You’re not quite where you’re headed
Move backwards?
You can forget it
Shed the skin
Outside and in
Your new life is near
It’s time to win
Sure you’ll miss
All that’s behind
Trust and believe
All will be fine
There’s so much in store
And it’s waiting on you
You wouldn’t believe
This bird’s eye view
It’s all you never could have imagined
Filled with much joy, laughter, and passion
Be bold
And conquer the world
You are golden
With a dash of pearls
Whenever you begin to fear
Just know
They are always here and near
Smiling
With love and cheers
It amazes me
How things work… behind the scenes
Our wildest dreams
So sweet
Like vanilla bean ice cream
They become a reality
The seeds from the apple tree
Conquered the catastrophes
I really hope you’re proud of me
From sea to shining sea
I’m trying to be
All that I can be
Far beyond my reach
As I practice what i preach
This is the end
But this is where it begins
Consecutive
Win after win
Proud like Uncle Ben
Let’s preserve this hidden gem 💎
